Judgment of a worldwide student from Kenya

In retrospect, anything the human mind can conceive is, it can reach. It is no wondering that man, endowed with this great ability evident in other creatures, the ability to overcome even the harshest environments, and a house for themselves. Nevertheless, I remain skeptical about their future in the universe.

Growing up for me was more of a task than it was a process as it is for most people. Born in a humble family in Kenya, I most of my time on the farm, cultivate the soil and hope that the season would bring good harvest. At age 10, I was responsible enough to take care of my three younger siblings.

The world around me was calm and promising, despite what most say about life in Africa. Just with my kids around me at each morning.

However, as I grew up, my view of life changed slowly. I began to see and the things that children never really pay attention to hear. I began to understand the news. I was more aware of and sensitive to events around me. By the time I got to school, there was no turning back.

Satisfy my curiosity, I spent a lot of time reading about famous people, curious to know what special about them. I talked to my teachers constantly in the quest to understand what it took to be famous.

In particular, I have an idol, Dr. Benjamin Carson, a pediatric neurosurgeon at Johns Hopkins University Hospital. His four books - Think Big, gifted hand, the Risk The Big Picture - a fascination of mine. I wake his new achievements, including his award, the Presidential Medal of Peace.

I thought that if I knew how he who he was, I could learn to like him, so I tried. Soon, my dream career was neurosurgery, with no plans whatsoever. For four years in high school this goal seems feasible.

Unfortunately, I am not a graduate 'A' student and crumble my dream of going to medical school before my eyes. Depressed and confused, I cried for nights wondering where I went wrong. After my mourning period was over, convinced that I have to find out another way, I started to read all over again.

Search through newspapers, magazines and books for an alternative to the medical school, I came across Awadhi Africa, an NGO sponsor African girls to go to the US for undergraduate studies. Torn between disappointment and anguish, I made my way through the rigorous recruitment process, and eventually won myself a scholarship to study in the US.

The first time I my family I wanted to go to America, my brother was laughing so hard, I thought I was a fool to even think about the idea. But I have an inner determination and a relentless drive, forcing me to go. Eventually I brought home an acceptance letter and my family was overwhelmed. My mother is still overwhelmed four years later.

The transition of African American university place the transition from a village instead of an American university was no easy task. Comes from a humble background, I lost myself 95% of the time. I consistently lost my train of thought in discussions. I repeat myself over and over in class and my ideas always seemed outdated and stupid. For months I refrained talking in public frustration.

In addition, I realized that to eat, I had to cook my own food, because the food here was very different.

The only thing that seems to be right, my scores are going. I still have the enthusiasm to a doctor to be, and I knew that to go and specialize in neurosurgery, I need star grades. I somehow managed to acquaintances who help and love for my worn by making my first semester.

Back in the spring semester, I was well adapted to life on campus. My accent improved greatly, so much so that my first job on campus was in the office of undergraduate admissions, where I campus tours to prospective students and their families.

More confident, I joined a couple of campus clubs, continued my work and keep my position in the list allocations for the next two years. At the end of the second year, I told a Senate position on the association and student government chose.

As if life is not yet done with me, I had a rough start. Outspoken and very outspoken, I've found that it worsened when students sounded petty. I grew up in an environment where food on the table was no guarantee, and here I am that students who complained about food. I could not turn to head the reason the Senate even a position for such a task

but we all grow, and we never know what we're missing until we find it. I made new friends in the Senate, which has helped me to adjust to the position. I slowly learned how to accommodate the student body without who I was.

Soon, I realized that it was indeed a problem with the food and it had to be addressed. Along with the senate and the student body, we have a change to the campus meal plan. We have a race in the dining room management, leading to a better relationship between students and service providers.

Newer projects up to me, and I decided to run for the Senate for a second term and was re-elected. I knew that the pressure put on myself I gave that I move my senior year, but I was not about to let my pet project disappear. The students are happy with the changes in the dining room service this semester, but they came up with a new problem that the Senate will continue to address.

While all this sweat, I continued my search for a doctor. I volunteered at a nearby hospital, found an internship at another and a second internship in the office of the campus distance education.

I co-authored a paper with students from all over Africa on a project we called consultation for higher Education. The aim of our initiative was an active part of the higher education changes we hope to see and be experience in Africa. I also started my honors research, and hope to complete by the completion of my thesis next semester.

Something changed in me

but something changed within me the last few months. Despite all these achievements, I felt empty inside. I feel like I spent my whole life chasing a life I want to live, rather than enjoying a I live. I do not have the choices I made at all regret. I am thankful that I do, because otherwise, I could never have come to this realization.

I thought that life in America a lot better than it was to be in my town. But the more I stay here, the more I miss the place. I miss 10. I miss the days when I trust the man and believed that anything is possible. I miss the days when I have no idea what life was like outside bosom of my mother. I miss the peace.

I appreciate the different opportunities that I encountered by leaving my home, but I'm worried about bigger things. My interaction with people from all over the world confirmed to me that as we grow in better technology, something slow growth from us.

In my opinion, we lost a beautiful part of what being human is all about. We are slowly becoming slaves to the expectations of the world, we, while offering what we would expect from the world. We leave ourselves to the enjoyment of solitude and family.

We are constantly going through life like zombies, never stop until we have no choice but to stop. It irks me to watch the news, because I can not understand how the same brilliant human mind that an aircraft can devise policies that children rely on the make streets with no food.

I cannot understand why some people more than they will ever need in this life, and will never share it with those who have nothing. I do not understand why we spend so much time complaining about what we do instead of appreciating what we have.

I do not understand why it is so important for us to other people's lives and to change countries, while our own homes on fire. I do not understand why families and marriages are no longer the priority and respect they deserve given.

I cannot for the life of me understand what it is to us.

Actually, I do not see the same value in anything I've done before. I have too many questions about the things we value in life today. In my opinion, it is not worth calling me human if I sit and pretend that everything is OK and that the global world is better. Yes, it is better, but for whom and why? It seems to me that the sweeter to life, the more alienated from the reality people.

I choose to stay in touch with the truth.

The truth is that: people are suffering, so that we stop and think about what really needs significant in life. The truth that no matter how far I went in, I can not sleep in peace, knowing that thousands of babies will die from malaria and other diseases cured.

The truth is that if we wanted a change, we could make. I'm a wrong perception of many things and now my conscience reminds me daily that I am a part of that change. And as I work my way through my last months of college, my vision and mission has changed.

Whatever it is that I decided to do with my life, it will be for the good of mankind. I'm no saint, but I know the truth. And I pray that as we all go through college, we will open our eyes to the reality in the world.

Just because we have food to eat every day, does not mean everyone else does. Just because we have the ability to complain about the injustice does not mean everyone can. Just because we have the opportunity to be in college, does not do any teenager.

As such, we need to see the college, not as a place where we just came to get education for a better job, but as a mini-world.

A place where we meet with representatives of the places we had never been; a place where we the pain of those who no one else to say share; a place where we can learn the truth and to learn how to ambassadors of humanity rather than slaves of our medium, uninformed assumptions about the world and be his people; a place where we can freely change.

* Moraine Ormolu is an international student at Farleigh Dickinson University in the United States.